Hey there
Hello
How are you
Who am I
Good to know you
Nice to meet me
Gotta run
Well, goodbye
I just met myself today
For the very first time
I didn't know what to expect at first
Didn't know what I'd be like
Hello again
Long time no see
How're things for you
What's my life like
Don't be a stranger
It was great to see me
Well, take it easy
See me around sometime
I ran into myself again
Hadn't seen me for a while
Spent some time just catching up
And talking of old times
My universe
Has turned
Inside
Out
Certainty is long since gone
Rationality as well
Understanding is right out
Contemplation is hell
Questions without answers
Problems I cannot solve
Feeling wrung out
Completely helpless
What on earth went wrong?
















Comments
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Everything I tell you is a lie. Except that. And that. And that. And that.
I didn't know what to expect at first
Didn't know what I'd be like
^^^
uber lines.
If it was a song, I could picture System of a down doing it.
--
OH MY GOD GET IT OFF ME!! GAAAAAAAAAHHHH OH IT BURNS!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHH NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
~redwall-club
--
DO WORK, SON!
--
DO WORK, SON!
--
DO WORK, SON!
--
Anyway, thanks--crazy has pretty much been my state of mind recently.
--
DO WORK, SON!
I like that you show the different aspects of yourself having a conversation by using the Tab key. It gives a more powerful visual cue as to what's going on, that traditional indentation would not give.
I like the arrangement of the stanza about your universe turning inside out. It looks like another visual cue of everything going Down The Proverbial Toilet, y'know?
If you want to go with this theme of using visuals and arrangements, I think you could consider actually punctuating the last question. It would give the poem a sense of finality, and it would be somewhat shocking to the reader, after reading many lines with only commas and no real 'stoppers'. That, however, is solely my opinion, and you do not have to take it at all. Poetry is its own beast, and the decision on stuff like that is left to the poet.
--
I AM NOT HERE. I HAVE DIED ON THE CROSS FOR YOUR SINS.
Actually, I just moved.
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